Effort

What are they doing to make you happy?  I’m not saying you should always expect someone to make you happy because that should come from within.   However,  are they matching your effort to make the relationship work?  Do they do things for you like get you a coffee made your way?  Do they plan dates?  Do they just surprise you sometimes?

If you are the one doing everything than  you probably need to have a talk   People show love and effort in various ways so maybe they think they are putting everything they have into the relationship.

However,  if after that you still don’t feel the effort you want in the relationship than maybe it’s time to move on.   You alone can decide what you can tolerate.   It’s OK to want more but just be sure what you want is realistic.   Don’t make it so that no one could be what you want because the standard is too high.

The Circle

You know I can say that I see people’s s patterns of choices all too often. They keep making the same choices and getting the same rest.

Then they complain about the result.  So when I point this out they just don’t seem to get it. I’m trying to help you see that the choices you’re making are keeping you in the same place that you don’t want to be.

I think sometimes we all need someone to point out to is how we keep making certain bad choices.   We don’t intentionally make them at least most of us don’t.  We all want better things to happen in our lives but sometimes we don’t see how we are causing our own issues.

We all think we make good choices but we never stop to think whether out choices are causing us a problem.   So stop and take a look at your choices the next time you have a bad result or something unwanted happens.  Its all on you not anyone else.   You make the choices and then have to live with them.  Learn from them and change your choices to change your life.

Warning signs

You  ever have the one person in your circle who gossips about everyone else?  This is a bug problem because you can be assured that they are gossiping about you as  well.

They are toxic to everyone they meet.   I once confronted a person about this behavior because we had a disagreement and she was going around to everyone complaining about me.   Her response seems as to why she would be spouting what I considered my business what that she had a right to do so.   I told  her she had no right to discuss me in any way.  That our discussions are for us and no one else.

After that I was done.   I realized she wasn’t an adult and wasn’t trustworthy.  I booted her so far away from me that I hope she has forgotten my name.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve know  someone  because if they are a gossip to you then they will gossip about you even when they say they will keep things to themselves they don’t.

It’s a hard lesson to learn but it’s worthwhile.   You are taught that not everyone deserves to hear your story.

So if you have people like this in your life do yourself a favor and cut them off. If they ask why you can tell them you don’t like the negativity they perpetuate. These people are destroyers of reputations,  careers and self esteem.   Stay away from them

 

Decisions

Why do we spend so much of our time seeking advice from others about how we should live our lives?   I think it’s because we want someone to validate our choices.

I think that is a problem because basically you’re asking someone how you should live your life and their answer is based on how they would live so you’re discounting your own opinion.

I think advice from others shod be reserved to technical expertise like how to change a tire,  or bake apple pie or doing algebra.

You understand what I’m saying?  You have a fifty- fifty chance of doing something that will make your life great. You have to make your own choices.   Stop basing them on how someone else would live.

If you keep putting your de is ions in the hands of others than how are you ever going to find out who you are?

Furthermore,  mistakes are OK because they teach you something.  So it’s OK if your decision wasn’t the best one for you,  but at least you made the choice based upon what you wanted.

Paradise

We spendlst of oursives blaming others for the way our lives turned out.  We blames our parents to,  exes,  and anyone else we can.

The fact is we make choices everyday that have put us in this place in our lives.  We choose where to work,  who to marry,  whether we eat healthy and exercise, etc.

I’m not saying people don’t do shitty things,  but it is still the choices we make that make our lives what they are.

So think about that before you go blaming someone else.   Did you choose to work there?  If you don’t like it then go back to school or look for a new job.   If you’re body isn’t the way you want then eat right and exercise.  If your relationship isn’t what you want then get out of it.

Yes there are things that happen that we don’t control sometimes but it’s the choices we make after these things occur that is key. People choose to smoke or drink of get into drugs and will always tell you it was because of some outside force.   It’s not true.   It’s becUsd they chose to do it.   No one and nothing made them. We always have a choice.

Some people choose to steal,  murder,  rape,  etc.   It’s a choice.  The one thing about choices is that they do create the path in your life.

So the next time you are unhappy  with something in your life start by looking at the choices you made that got you there Then start making different choices.   The one thing about humans is we love to be consistent,  but in this instance the same choices will get you the same result. Paradise comes from whatever choices you make.   So if your not in your paradise than change your choices.

 

Honesty

I want you all to think about how being honest with your partner effects their life.   It’s gives them security,  they know they can trust you and it gets rid of any doubts about where they stand in your life..

So when a partner lies to you don’t dismiss it.  People lie everyday as of it was the same as breathing. If they are willing to lie to you than they read have no respect for you.

Lies cause secrets and secrets kill relationships.   So watch out and remember to know your worth.

In Sickness and in Health

So my fiancé hurt his back shoveling all this crazy snow we had this week.   All I could do was wonder what I could do to help him feel better.  I made sure he took so some Tylenol and made sure he rested. I also made sure he had a good dinner.

Even then I was anxious because I just want him to be well.  This got me thinking about how this scenario plays out in the wrong relationship.  Your partner wouldnt be anxious to help nor would they lift a finger to do so. Furthermore,  they would see it as a chore and some type of complaint would escape their mouths.

I’ve said it before and I will say it again.  People’s actions tell everything about them.  So if you’re sick and your partner isn’t the least bit phrased by it then you have the wrong partner. If they don’t do anything to try to make you feel better or even just check on you then you have the wrong partner.

This is important because at some point something bigger than a back ache or a cold is going to happen and if your partner isn’t there for you for the smaller things than you can be guaranteed that they won’t be there for the bigger things.   Simple logic.

Pay attention to their actions during these times be a use it tells you who they are and then you can decide if they are the right person for you. I can say that. No matter how much you love them if they don’t take care of you then it will always be that way. Do you really want a life where someone doesn’t support you in times of sickness? That’s the same as being single.

Wait and watch and you will see the true colors of everyone you know.